Truth

This is a sample chapter from The Fundamental theory of Happiness by Dominick Albano. To gain insight into your own journey with happiness and learn practical and actionable steps you can take to live a happier life, check out this book at 
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“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing; the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” Viktor Frankl

What would you do?
You’re driving home from work, minding your own business, when a guy in a blue sedan comes flying across two lanes of traffic and cuts you off to make the next exit. If you’re like most people, you’re probably outraged at the dangerous maneuver and can’t help thinking,
What a jerk! (Or let’s be honest, you probably think something much worse.)
It’s been nearly three weeks since the family a few houses down from yours last mowed their lawn. At first you thought they were away on vacation because you weren’t seeing them around the house or their cars in the driveway. Now the place looks totally disheveled. The two foot tall grass and weeds look terrible, and you can’t help but wonder what kind of people let their home fall into such disarray.
These reactions are understandable, but how would this change things?
That guy who cut you off was driving his wife to the hospital because she was in labor prematurely.
The husband from the family down the street—the husband you typically wave to as he mows his lawn on the weekend—has been in the hospital the last three weeks. He’s been diagnosed with a rare form of cancer, and his family has spent almost every waking moment at the hospital with him since his diagnosis.
Would those details change your reaction? 
Circumstances matter. What we know or don’t know makes a difference.
In both those scenarios, you would react differently because of the circumstances. You’d gladly get out of the way of the car.
You’d walk down the street and mow the lawn to help in some small way.
Now imagine if you could have that kind of patient, knowing, understanding reaction to every person and situation around you, without needing to know the extenuating circumstances.
The Fundamentally Happy have this power. Nothing seems to bother them, and it always seems like they know something we don’t know. 
I’ve taken the Fundamentally Happy way of seeing the world and converted it into actionable steps you can start practicing.
But first, let’s see which of the five levels of perception and reaction you’re living at now.
First off, life is busy. You’re probably moving from the moment you wake up until the moment you go to bed. From an important work meeting, to your daughter’s dance recital, to your son’s hockey game, to the church’s finance council meeting. And don’t forget that important deadline on your big project, getting the yard mowed, coaching soccer, and getting the oil changed on the car. That all needs to get done before lunch. And then there are the constant voicemails, text messages, and emails. 
This is real life, and it doesn’t even include other important aspects like planning for the future, maintaining a healthy relationship with your spouse, taking care of yourself physically and spiritually, or finding time to re-energize and focus. 
Herein lies the problem: the real life we’re living feels like it’s holding us back from really living life. We’re like the entrepreneur who is so wrapped up in running the business that he can’t step back for a moment without everything falling to pieces.
How do the Fundamentally Happy turn this all around? It all comes down to what you respond to. What you respond to determines at what level you live your life.
Life is lived at essentially five different levels:
effect, cause, circumstances, intentions, and Purpose.
Consider this scenario:
I’m walking through the door much later than I was supposed to be. I know my wife wants me home by a certain time, but today my boss made me stay late to work because of a missed deadline, and then I got caught in bad traffic on the way home. I’m expecting she’s going to be angry before I even walk in the door.

Effect
At this level we only see and respond to effects. The fundamentally unhappy are usually stuck at this level. When we’re here, we are swallowed up in emotions, crisis, drama, and fear. We move from fire to fire feeling like life is a runaway train and the bridge is out. This is surface-level living. We can’t see past the physical. 
Example:
My wife’s angry. If I react at this level, I’m going to respond to her anger with matching anger.

Cause
Scraping just below the effect, now we can also see the causes. At this level, we see the action, behavior, or thought that causes the effect, but we’re still consumed by the physical: what we see and experience. It’s important to note that at these first two levels, our reactions are entirely inward focused. There is a lack of empathy.
Example:
My wife is angry because I came home late from work.

Circumstance 
Now we fall back on the circumstances surrounding the cause and effect. 
People on this level are starting to enter into an empathic mindset, but they still blame any wrongdoing on their circumstances rather than take any personal responsibility. It’s still about me, not the other person. You’re deeper than cause and effect, but not much.
Example:
I’m home late because my boss made this last-minute adjustment to a project I had to get done by the end of the day, and then there was an accident on the highway that blocked up traffic.

Intention
The level of intention takes us to a deeper level of empathy and understanding. We usually judge ourselves and our actions on this level. I didn’t mean to be late; I wasn’t trying to hurt you! When we make a mistake, we justify our actions based on our intentions. When others make a mistake, we tend to judge only the cause and effect. This is the first level that has any real care for the other person.
Example:
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be home late! I wanted to be home on time.

Purpose
This is the deepest level at which we can live. The person who responds to purpose sees things differently. Here live the motivations, drivers, and desires at the heart of everything. Full empathy happens on this level. You aren’t focused on what you are experiencing, you’re focused on the other person.

Example:
Part of my purpose as a husband is to be a trustworthy and accountable companion who makes my wife feel secure and safe. When I show up late, I break trust, and I have to figure out a way despite circumstances that are outside of my control—to make sure my wife knows her safety and security are priorities to me. Putting our example in another sense: The person living at the level of effect says: You’re angry at me?!

The person living at the level of cause says: You think I wanted to be home late from work? (Is this starting to sound like the script to some of the most common fights between married couples?)

The person living at the level of circumstance says: I’m sorry there was a traffic jam and my boss made me stay late.

The person living at the level of intention says: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be home late.

The person living at the level of purpose says:
I’m sorry I wasn’t the dependable husband you need me to be. In the future, I can try to call ahead of time to make you more aware of what’s going on, and to see if there is anything I can do to make your night easier considering I’ll be home late. Is there anything I can do now? I’d be happy to do it. Is this example a bit simplified? Absolutely. But it illustrates the point. Apologizing for not being the husband you should be might be a little
extreme for something as simple as being home a little late, but you never know. 

Bottom line: The Fundamentally Happy live at the level of purpose. This
is the second rule of the Fundamental Theory of Happiness. 
Why does it seem like they know something we don’t know?

Why does it seem like the world conspires in their favor? 
The answer is perception.
The Fundamentally Happy aren’t responding to the effects in their lives.
They are looking beyond the surface and living life according to purpose.
The weather, the searing emotions from their boss, the downturn in the economy, the new tech everyone has to have, the traffic jam on their commute, the annoying coworker, their favorite team having a
miserable season … these effects don’t shake them.
Living at the level of purpose allows the Fundamentally Happy to be proactive instead of Reactive.
Imagine you are having a problem with a coworker. If you are reactive, you might become emotional, angry, or fearful. You might start playing the blame game or trying to fix the problem, only to see the coworker is still being difficult. We’ve all encountered people that always find something to be upset about. All of these responses are reactive: reacting to the causes, effects, circumstances, and intentions. Now compare this to the Fundamentally Happy.
The Fundamentally Happy will immediately begin to search for the purpose of the person and the situation. What are we trying to accomplish here? What’s the purpose of this person, this project? What’s at the heart of this conflict? The Fundamentally Happy will work from the purpose of one aspect to the next—from the person to the conflict—to understand at the deepest level. 
When you know your purpose, you know what you’re responsible for and who you’re responsible to. You might be able to stop an argument by addressing effect, cause, circumstances, or intention, but until you address the deepest level, you can’t have lasting Change. 

Living at the level of purpose transforms everything. Problems with your kids?Ask yourself what is your child’s purpose, what is the purpose of children, and what is the purpose of parenthood? What is your purpose as a parent?

Problems with a relationship? Ask yourself what is my partner’s purpose? What is your purpose in the relationship? What is the purpose of being in a relationship?

Problems with your health? Ask yourself what is the purpose of your body? Of yourself?

Problems with your money? Ask yourself what is the purpose of money? You might be thinking you have no idea what your purpose is, or what your spouse’s purpose is, or what your children’s purpose is. That’s great. You’re starting to think like the Fundamentally Happy.

Theory in Practice: Assume the Best
There’s an old-fashioned lesson on Christian duty that has fallen out of practice today. Assume the best about other people.

We have a tendency to suspect and jump to conclusions. Gossip, rumor mongering, paranoia, and snap judgements are our new normal.
The guy cuts you off on the highway because he’s a jerk, right? We don’t think
we need to know anything else. But we rarely know the circumstances and intentions of those around us, so assume the best— if not for their benefit, then for your own. You could be annoyed for your whole day if someone cuts you off in traffic. It can make you feel like people are jerks and the world is nasty. But if you assume the best, say a quick prayer for the person, and wish them safety on their way, it changes the whole interaction. I promise, you will feel happier.

For one week, try to assume the best about those around you. If you succeed,
it’s likely to be one of the best weeks you’ve had in a while.